My 21-year-old daughter (I'll call her C1) has decided that she wants to move 13 hours away from where we live. To give you a little background, when she graduated from high school she decided to go to a major university in a large city. (That's part of the reason I'm bound by the shackles of debt.) We live in a small town and according to her, "it's boring here." So she gets to college and decides she doesn't like it. She could never articulate the reason. She just said she didn't like the school. She said she liked the city and her work study, but not the school.
So she comes home after the first year and takes the next year off. Then she announces that she is going to commute to one of the state universities. Well, she attends that school for two semesters and announces that she doesn't want to go there. She said she's moving 13 hours away. She said that she's going to drive to this new town, stay in a hotel for 3-4 days, look for work and scope out the local universities. So I ask, "Have you found a hotel." She says, "Yes, and it's only $40 per night." She seemed very pleased at this great deal. I was like, "$40 a night, does it have any stars?" She said, "Mom, why does it have to have any stars? $40 is all I can afford." I said, "What's the name of this place?" Now, she names a hotel that I've never heard of. I said, "Couldn't you find an inexpensive brand name hotel?" She said, "They're at least $70-$80 per night, and I can only afford $40." So after my mini meltdown, she left the room.
Now, I started to worry. She wants to go to a town that she's never been in before for four days and stay at a cheap hotel. I asked myself, "Should I offer to give her the other $40-50 per night for a better quality hotel?" I can give her the money, but that means that I'll have to figure out how to keep shackle release program on course.
I really don't know what I should do. Am I being an enabler?
What do you think?
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Am I being an enabler?
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2 comments:
It's a dificult situation. Can you look up the hotel online? At least if you can see what it is like then it may put your mind at rest. Call the hotel and ask about the area. Just because it's cheap doesn't necessarily mean it's in a bad area. Your daughter just wants to spread her wings. If you really feel uncomfortable about the hotel after looking them up online and speaking to the hotel then I would spend the extra money. there is nothing more important than making sure your child is safe!
Just found your post. It sounds like you are an enabler. Unfortunately, so am I, and that is the result of much of my debt situation. At 21, your daughter is old enough to make her own decisions. Whether they are smart or not is another story. Maybe once she experiences what she can afford she will make good choices.
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