Funky Attitude

Last week Tricia at Blogging away Debt mentioned that she had been in somewhat of a funk lately. She really couldn't figure out what was causing it. Well, I've been in a bit of a funk lately too. But I think I know the reason.

One of the reasons for my funky attitude is that a couple of weeks ago I put a deposit on our vacation and bought airline tickets. One would think I would be ecstatic. I mean, we're going on our first vacation in three years! You see, what was going to be a relatively inexpensive vacation is now costing me more than I wanted to spend.

Originally, a friend had offered us the use of her Florida home and car that she kept down there. By the time my family and I figured out when would be a good time to take a vacation together, she had rented her place. I began searching the internet for someplace to stay in Florida, and I found one. When I showed it to my husband he decided he would rather go to Puerto Rico. You know, "for a few dollars more..."

In addition to the condo and the airline tickets, now we'll have to rent a car. Of course, there is spending money while vacationing. In order to keep this vacation on a cash basis, I'm going to have to drastically reduce my aggressive credit card pay down. I know, I know...I'll take some cheese with my "whine".

When I posted my 100th post I said would highlight some of my favorite entries. Two of my favorites are The Giving Tree and Easter, Christmas, and the Day after New Year's

Deeper in Debt

Well, I did it. Last Saturday I purchased a car. It's an 8-year-old luxury car. There was only one previous owner, and it only had 40,000 miles on it. I paid $10,000 for it: $6,000 cash and $4,000 loan. I didn't want to incur any more debt. As you know, I have more than enough. But it is what it is. The deed is done. The old wealthy_1 would have thought nothing of taking out a huge loan for a brand new car. That's what I did five years ago. My car payments and insurance were $400 per month!

I was saving $300 every month in my car savings fund. When I thought about getting a loan, I decided that I could pay $100 towards a car payment. As usual I forgot about the insurance, but the cost for me for this car is $60 per month. That's an added expense of $160, leaving me with $140. I have a four-year repayment plan on the loan, but I can pay extra on it, and I can pay it off early.

Now the question is: What should I do with that $140. Of course, the first thing that comes to mind is pay more on the credit card debt. That's a good plan, but for the first time in my entire life I asked myself, "How will I pay for routine car maintenance?" So, I've decided to continue the car fund at ING and put $100 every month into it for car maintenance.

That leaves me with $40. Once again credit card debt reduction comes to mind. Then I thought about the vacation we are planning this summer. Right now I allocate $100 per month towards vacation. Perhaps it would be a good idea to increase it to $140. Especially since once we're on vacation, money has a way of slipping through our fingers.

Shopping for a Car

C2 has taken over my car. I had hoped to wait until the end of June to begin car shopping. I knew he would need transportation for work, school, and after school activities, but I was hoping that it would be later rather than sooner. I had planned to save $8K to $9K by the end of June and he was to save $1K.

Well, here it is February. I have $6k and C2 has zero dollars saved. He's working almost everyday after school, so I have no ride home from the commuter lot. If I want to go to the gym or to my pilates class, I have no transportation. So as much as I didn't want to do this, I took out a $4k loan. I figured it's an improvement over totally financing a car. Before I became financially focused, I financed a new car 100%. This time I'm looking to finance a pre-owned car for $4K and with my $6K in cash pay $10K for a pre-owned vehicle. My goal is transportation. No bells and whistles.

If you are a car salesman, I mean you now disrespect. We all have to make a living. I've never sold cars, but I imagine that there is some gratification in doing so. Basically, I'm sure it's a noble profession. Here's the but...I hate the process. I don't understand why I can't just walk onto the lot and tell the salesperson exactly what I'm looking for and then he or she says to me yes we have that for you or no we don't. Why do I have to talk to one person who relates what I tell him to another person (the manager, I presume) only for that person to tell me he can't sell me what I want in that price range?

As you have probably already guessed, I spent my day at a dealership today. Even after doing some internet research and making some telephone calls, I came away with no car. I am a little disappointed, but I'll keep looking. This is a new experience because my immediate gratification self wants to spend the money on all the bells and whistles right now. But my delayed gratification self is trying very hard to be discplined and stick to the goal, which is reasonably priced transportation.

Bill Me Later

Last Christmas I decided that I wanted to buy myself a present. I decided that because it was already after Christmas and my friends and family had already given me gifts. I just didn't think it was appropriate to ask for something else. Plus my birthday is 3 weeks after Christmas, so more presents were coming. :-)

The truth is that I wanted a $200 pair of Ugg boots from Zappos. As you well know by now, I did not have $200 to buy the boots. However, did you know that there is such a thing as Bill Me Later? Well, there is. It was right on the Zappos website right next to the free shipping. It said that if I used Bill Me Later to buy the boots I didn't have to pay for 90 days! Yipee!! So I figured it out. I could use Bill Me Later to get the boots and then I could make a payment every time I got paid and the boots would be paid off within 90 days and I would pay no interest. Am I too smart or what???

Well, my party pooper husband said, "That's still buying on credit." I said, "What are you talking about? I'm not paying any interest!" He tried to explain that not having the money to pay for the boots up front and using Bill Me Later was still like taking a loan and that if I paid it off before the 90 days it was an interest free loan. (He's too smart for me.)

This week I received an e-mail from Bill Me Later. The subject of the e-mail is Important Information about Your Bill Me Later Account. (By the way, I haven't used this account since I bought the boots.) Then it reads:

We're glad to have you as a Bill Me Later customer and we wanted to let you know about an important limited-time benefit that has been added to your account for the holidays. Now through January 15, 2008, we’re giving you a set amount of Holiday Spending Power. Your total Holiday Spending Power is $2,500, and as of 11/12/07, you have $2,500 available for your use.*

How lucky am I that Bill Me Later wants to give me an important limited-time benefit? That's exactly what I need...NOT! Holiday Spending Power? I don't think so. It's more like holiday turn the key in the shackles just a little bit tighter. Up until now, I would have been thrilled to receive some holiday spending power. This year...I'm good. I think I'll pass.

Risky Business

In an earlier post I mentioned that my husband is out of work. He lost his job in September. Unfortunately, that was the spark I needed to get serious about my financial health and my future. I told him this. Also, I explained my plan to him. I told him that I was going to pay down my debt by June 30, 2009 and then I would begin working to help him pay down his debt. I figure that using the snowball method the only debt we should have by the end of 2010 is the mortgage and home equity.

Well, a couple of weeks ago I came home from my snowflaking job and he asked me if I had a few minutes to talk. I said I did. Then he said, "Tell me how much you owe on your credit card because I'm going to take some of the retirement money and pay it off." I took a real deep breath. Then I asked, "Are you sure you want to do that?" I reminded him (like I really needed to) that he's not working and that maybe it would be better if we waited until he was employed again to discuss this just in case we need that money to pay the mortgage, heat or electricity. He replied, "No, let's just do it." I always remind him that I look like I have a lot of debt compared to my income because of the mortgage, the home equity, and we have a joint credit card that I've never used but he always uses. He said that this way since I'm job searching if a prospective employer checks my credit (which we know has happened) it won't look so bleak.

The next day I sent him an e-mail with the balances on the two credit cards that I have. One I had closed at the end of September and the other is still open, but I don't use it. In fact, I'm seriously considering closing that one too. He said to take the money from our joint checking and pay down one of them. So I did. I paid down the one that I had closed.

My spouse is ultra, ultra conservative. He rarely takes risks. So you can imagine my surprise when he suggested this risky business.

Good News

Good News!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was offered the job and I accepted. Unless I fail the background check, I start on November 19. Good News!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know I always tell you that I'm from way, way back in the day. Well, applying for a job is nothing like it was back then. First, I applied online. I'm amazed that my resume was selected as one that the supervisor should review.

Second, there's this background check, which includes a credit check. I always pay my bills on time. In fact, I have never been late or missed a payment. I don't know whether that is something to be proud of or not. I do have a lot of debt as all of you know. And quite frankly I am embarassed that it is now going to be exposed.

We all discuss the many, many reasons we want to become debt free. An employer doing a credit check now ranks very high among my reasons to release the shackles of debt.

Small Thinking

Up until now, I've been a small thinker. I remember back in the day, way back in the day when I was in college I said to my roommate, "I want a job that pays $10,000 a year." Her response was, "That's not a lot of money." Can you believe that I looked at her like she was crazy? Now I look at myself as if I were crazy. I can see now that even back then that was not a lot of money.

When I reflect on the how I got into this situation, I believe small thinking is one of the reasons. If you were to ask me what I purchased on credit, I wouldn't be able to point to large or major purchases like a boat, electronics, or even a vacation. It's just been small things. I don't remember what they are. I'll bet if I looked back at archived credit card statements I would be amazed and think, "Oh, I used a credit card for THAT?"

Have you ever thought about this? Do you think that your credit card purchases that got you where you are today were substanstial? Were they worth the anxiety that we're all feeling today?

Remember to Tithe

Tithe. My first memory of the word is as a little girl in church. Whenever we would visit our family in the south, we would go to church. I loved going to church in the south. It's so lively. There's lots of singing and praising. The minister is very enthusiastic. It was from his mouth that I heard "tithe". After he would say it, the collection basket would come around, and I would dutifully put my tithe (probably 25 cents) in the basket.

Although I am constrained by the debt shackles, I still contribute my tithe. It's not actually a tithe, but I do have a budget for giving. I think it's less than 1 percent right now, which is pitiful. What's even worse is that (and I'm ashamed to say this) sometimes when I'm reviewing my budget I look at it and think, if I cut that out of the budget I can put it towards my debt. Then I come to my senses and think, "NO WAY"! There are still people who are much worse off than I am. And giving needs to be a habit so that when I am debt free I can increase my tithe to 10-15 percent of my income.

There is a bible story. I don't know where it is exactly in the bible, but Jim Rohn talks about it on one of his tapes (cds). It's about a time when Jesus was in town and people were doing the tithe thing. A rich man came up and gave a boat load of money. Then a poor woman came up and gave two pennies. I believe the story goes that Jesus was eternally grateful to the woman for giving two pennies. When she left, one of the disciples asked Jesus why he was so grateful to the poor woman when she only gave two pennies and the man before her gave a bunch of money. Jesus told the disciples, "You don't understand. She gave all that she had."

My point is that it doesn't matter the how much you give. Even though you are bound by the shackles of debt, please remember to tithe.

Eating is to money as food is to debt

Today was a very, very stressful day at work. I still get a stomachache and a headache thinking about it, and I'm home now! Anyway, I had to prepare thousands and thousands of page of documents for production through the new database the firm has chosen to use. And of course, I am supposed to do this with no training. Well, since I don't like to have meltdowns at work, I internalized all of my anxiety, which led to the headache and stomachache. But all I could think about was how some chocolate chip ice cream on top of a warm fudge brownie would make me feel better. I guess you could call it self-medicating with food. I considered stopping off at the grocery store to pick up the necessary ingredients, but I didn't stop. I thought about how I have one $10 bill to last me until payday and I don't want to break it. I also decided that I really don't need the extra calories and fat. But I just kept thinking about how much better I would feel if I just got the stuff, prepared it and scoffed it down.

So what does this have to do with money and debt? I've had this same response to stress. Up until now if I was feeling a little anxiety I would take my credit card and go shopping. You know what that means...I was tightening up the debt shackles. I would feel good for the moment. Just like the brownie sundae would make me feel good for the moment. Then I would tell myself, "Oh, no problem. I'll pay it off." When I got my credit card statement I would feel more anxiety and I wouldn't pay it off.

I'm home now. No warm brownie with chocolate chip ice cream. Just a big salad with shelled edamame, a bottle of water and my $10 bill still in my pocket.

To Merge or not to Merge

Yesterday PaidTwice posted an article from the newly formed Women's Personal Finance Network about merging finances with you mate.

My husband and I have been married for 24 years and we have always maintained separate finances. One of the reasons is that my mom always told me to keep the money separate. She had a tough time of it. She grew up poor, but happy and clean (that's how she always phrased it). When she and my dad married I think she totally depended on him for everything: money, emotional support...everything. Their finances, which only consisted of a checking and savings account were handled by my dad. If she needed money for anything, she had to ask him. He would never just say, "Go ahead and take it." He usually had to grill her on what she needed the money for. As I got older I could see that she resented having to do that. And if she didn't have to ask him she wouldn't.

I remember when I was about 11 years old. I received a birthday card from my grandmother (my mom's mom) with $1 in it. I was so excited. I was thinking of all the things that I could spend that dollar on (back in the day). Anyway, my mom told me I couldn't keep the dollar that I had to give it to her so that she could but a pound of hamburger so that we could have dinner the next night.
I have so many example like this. Perhaps that is one of the reasons that up until now that focusing on my finances has been a challenge.

Here are the numbers!

First, I just have to say I'm so excited that new friends posted comments on my blog! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!


Tonight's entry is going to be quick as I am preparing for a job interview tomorrow, but I just have to post my numbers. This weekend I'm going to set up my blogroll. I just wanted you all to know that I am grateful for your input.


So here are the figures.


# of days non credit card use: 87
amount owed: $28,354
amount paid: $1,982
financial freedom: $550.04

I reduced my debt by paying $1,650 on my car loan. I got that money from the sale of my Longaberger baskets. Actually, I gave them away. If you know Longaberger I sold them way, way, way below market value. But I'm happy they all have good homes now. And by selling them I was able to make the equivalent of 5 car payments so that on October 23 my car loan will be paid off 6 months early! The other reductions were my credit card payments. I make payments of $250 to each card each month and then they charge me about $80 in interest. When I see it on paper it makes my stomach hurt. I've applied for a AT&T 0%interest on balance transfer credit card to ease my pain, we'll see if I get approved.

My savngs acount I call financial freedom, and it is an ING account. I consider this account my emergency fund account. I put $25 every two weeks in it. That's almost $2 a day. I want to increase it, but I want to decrease the debt first.

Well, that's it. My first official money post.

Can someone explain to me how I put codes into my Html?

Patience, patience, patience

I am waitng for the one of the credit card companies to post the interest on my debt so that I can update my numbers. Hopefully that will happen tonight.

One of my goals was to start a part-time job, which I did a couple of weekends ago. I can't wait to get paid so that I can put apply that money to my debt. Mentally, I have to keep reminding myself that the part-time job pay is for debt reduction because I start thinking of other things I can do with the money other than reduce the debt.

Maybe my mantra should be:

My part-time pay is for debt reduction. Debt reduction means loosening the debt shackles. Loosening the debt shackles means financial freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I'm just impatient.

I started working at a women's clothing store. It's fun especially compared to my full-time job. It will be challenging because I love clothes, and I love to shop. As a matter of fact, that's how I got in this situation (at least one of the reasons). I work every Saturday and Sunday. My plan is to put at least $100 per week towards my debt.

Am I being an enabler?

My 21-year-old daughter (I'll call her C1) has decided that she wants to move 13 hours away from where we live. To give you a little background, when she graduated from high school she decided to go to a major university in a large city. (That's part of the reason I'm bound by the shackles of debt.) We live in a small town and according to her, "it's boring here." So she gets to college and decides she doesn't like it. She could never articulate the reason. She just said she didn't like the school. She said she liked the city and her work study, but not the school.

So she comes home after the first year and takes the next year off. Then she announces that she is going to commute to one of the state universities. Well, she attends that school for two semesters and announces that she doesn't want to go there. She said she's moving 13 hours away. She said that she's going to drive to this new town, stay in a hotel for 3-4 days, look for work and scope out the local universities. So I ask, "Have you found a hotel." She says, "Yes, and it's only $40 per night." She seemed very pleased at this great deal. I was like, "$40 a night, does it have any stars?" She said, "Mom, why does it have to have any stars? $40 is all I can afford." I said, "What's the name of this place?" Now, she names a hotel that I've never heard of. I said, "Couldn't you find an inexpensive brand name hotel?" She said, "They're at least $70-$80 per night, and I can only afford $40." So after my mini meltdown, she left the room.

Now, I started to worry. She wants to go to a town that she's never been in before for four days and stay at a cheap hotel. I asked myself, "Should I offer to give her the other $40-50 per night for a better quality hotel?" I can give her the money, but that means that I'll have to figure out how to keep shackle release program on course.

I really don't know what I should do. Am I being an enabler?

What do you think?

How do I get beyond these shackles?

In order to move beyond the shackles of debt by June 30, 2009, I need a plan. Actually, I 've already started working on my plan. Here are some of the things I've started or plan to do within the next 30 days to move me towards freedom.

1. Stop using my credit cards completely. I have not made a credit card purchase since July 19, 2007. That's 81 days! Yes. I am keeping score. Each day that goes by that I don't use a credit card to make a purchase I mark that day on the calendar. I got this idea from Trent at thesimpledollar.com. In July he wrote about applying Jerry Seinfeld's "chain" concept to personal finance. So I have my non credit card use chain. I've got to keep the chain going.

2. Get a part-time job.

3. Sell some stuff.

4. Start blogging.

I'll tallk about the last three and some of the other things I'm doing to loosen these debt shackles.

The Shackles

My goal is to free myself from my debt shackles by June 30, 2009. I picked that date because my son (whom I'll call C2) will graduate from high school in June of 2009. He is C2 because there is a C1. She's 21 and still at home.

Anyway, as of October 4, 2007, these are the shackles.

$11,730 Credit Card #1
$11,921 Credit Card #2
$ 4,720 Medical expense
$ 1,965 Car loan balance
Grand Total: $30,336

A lesson is repeated until learned

One of the reasons, and probably the main reason that I want to have the means to take care of myself is that my husband lost his job about a month ago. This isn't the first or the second time that he has been unemployed, but the third time in 20 years.

The first time we were young and had a toddler. I was a stay-at-home mom. I was shocked and afraid. I remember crying...alot. I kept thinking how could this happen? What are we going to do? This just shouldn't be happening to us. Well, it did. I considered going back to work right away, but he was only out of work for four months, and we had to relocate east from the midwest. I was so relieved. However, it never dawned on me to make a plan just in case this were to happen again.

The second time was about six years ago. By now we had two children and I was working too. At that time we had mountains of debt (at least that's what it felt like to me). I suggested to him at that time that he go back to school and get his Master's Degree or even go into teaching, but he chose not to do either. He was out of work a little more than a year. However, it never dawned on me to make a plan just in case this were to happen again.

So here we are a third time. My husband is out of work, and I'm angry. I'm not angry at him. I'm angry at myself. I'm angry at myself because I have allowed myself to be in this situation not once, not twice, but three times.

Have I learned my lesson? I sure hope so.

Reasons Why

I have been successful at setting and achieving goals in other areas of my life. In November 2005 I set a goal to compete in a natural bodybuilding competition. The reason I wanted to do it was to see if I could be disciplined enough to endure the training and nutrition and finally get up on stage. Well, I was and I did and I loved it! What I liked the most was the journey. I didn't compete once. I competed in six natural bodybuilding competition during the last two years. That's how much I enjoyed it. And I do plan to compete again.



Anyway, I asked myself why it is that I can be successful at focusing on my fitness and nutrition to prepare for a bodybuilding competition and not so successful at debt reduction. Well, Jim Rohn says that you have to have enought reasons why. I think...no, I know I now have enough reasons why I want to free myself from these debt shackles. Here they are.


1. I want to have the means to take care of myself.
2. I want the freedom to do the fun things that I want to do.
3. I want to give generously to my favorite charities.
4. I want to continue my education.
5. I want to change careers.
6. I want be rid of this weighed-down, burdensome feeling that comes from dragging around these very, very heavy debt shackles day after day.

Journey to Debt Freedom

I am in debt. Hence the title of my blog. I've been inspired by so many bloggers who are in debt, too, but are taking action and digging out. Debt is so restricting. I honestly feel like I'm bound by shackles. I have so much debt that I feel like I can't move or breathe. So I've decided that I'm going to free myself from these shackles once and for all!